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Subject		영어수필(Autumn)

Name		관리자

수강생 여러분에게 필독을 원합니다. 특히, 19세기 영소설 수강생들은 [논평]을 읽어보시면 Essay writing in English in Wuthering Heights 문제 풀 때 도움이 될 겁니다. 고딩이라 무시하면 안됩니다. 절대로. 다운로드는  Report board 463번.
박종성

제15회 전국 고교생 백마백일장
주최:  충남대학교 인문대학
분야:  영어산문/ English Essay Writing Competition
일시:  2005.10.15

Writing Material is as follow:

John Keats, a British romantic poet, defined Autumn as "season of mists and mellow fruitfulness,/ Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun." Define or Describe the nature of Autumn. Your composition must be well-organized, grammatically correct, and original.

장원 박지현(한영 외국어고등학교 2학년 7반)

  Autumn makes me spellbound. When I look up at the sky at dusk, I am literally "captivated" by the beauty of the season. The hue of the Autumn sky is a wonder; the mixture of various shade of blue, red, and yellow is mysterious yet ever so beautiful, like an Opal shining in its unique glory. The cold breeze gently brushes upon the tree leaves and the alluring scent of Fall tickles my nose. Something is tingling inside me ― yes, my season of the year has come. The coming of Fall is like a blessing. To me, Autumn has always been the symbol of beauty, maturity, and opportunity.
  The season is wholly comprised of beauty itself. If I could dare give a name to this grand event of mother nature, I would ― without a doubt ― call it Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty and love. When the magical season falls upon us, everything sparkles with beauty. Imagine your lover's face reflecting the afternoon sunlight of Autumn. It is the sunlight that gives perfection to the beauty of it all. When the touch of Autumn approaches, everything is precious! When I once visited Anne Frank Lake in Virginia, the place was in its full Autumn blossom. The serenity, the warm sunlight, the indescribable evening sky, the amazing fireflies, and the clear water reflecting the full scenery…. I felt like heaven had presented itself right in front of me. I was too young to express the glory in proper words, but I filed the scene in my memory as the "most beautiful scene you'll ever see in your life."
  As the romantic poet John Keats enumerated in his writing, Autumn is certainly a "close-bosom friend of the maturing sun." Fall gives us a sense of maturity, ripeness, and satisfaction. It is indeed a close bosom-friend to the maturity ― anything! The beauty of nature is in full bloom, and our mind is ample with satisfaction. The year is ending, and the weather makes us relax and look back, realizing how much we have "matured." When the leaves begin to fall, I breathe in the sweet Fall breeze and think how much I have come; how I've been through the anxious start of Spring, and the vigorous heat of Summer. Autumn is a short break for me to rejoice the maturity of all, before I go to fight the rigid cold of Winter.
  It may be ironic, but Autumn has been the season of opportunity for me. Yes, Autumn is indeed an end, the reach of fullness but it is also a start. After the long steamy Summer, Fall gives us the space to breathe and enjoy to recharge our strengths for Winter. I start again, feeling spirited, looking forward to another achievement to rejoice over the next Fall. It has been the season I vigorously took on opportunities and applied for chances. It was the time I got admitted to my dream school (my current school now). I can still remember the moment when I saw in black letters, "Congratulations!" My eyes did not fill with tears of joy, but I did scream with delight! Everything was simply perfect, the weather and everything else. I recall looking at the world, the world of Autumn, with pure affection. Just think, all our vigor has been sapped by the biting heat of Summer and the fresh, coolness now replenishes us. It is a new start, a new opportunity.
  The beautiful season has come, once again, blessing us with the perfect weather and the refreshing breeze. Our only obligation is to fully enjoy; take with much gratitude what mother nature has given us. I never miss something as small as the shape of the clouds to the gentle trembling of the trees. I file everything in my head, trying to devour every little moment of the blessed season. I firmly grab it until Autumn waves good-bye and whispers the promise to bring another time of beauty, fullness, and opportunity next year. Autumn is indeed a blessed thing. I thank God for such wonderful creation. I cannot live throughout the year without this short term of complete pleasure. Autumn is "essential" ― to those who have experienced the beauty of it.

The End

Copyright@2005 by College of Humanities, Chungnam National University
***

[논평]

1. 자신이 생각하는 가을의 속성(본질)에 대해 쓴 글입니다. 첫 단락 마지막 문장 “Autumn has always been the symbol of beauty, maturity, and opportunity.”에서 알 수 있듯 가을의 속성을 3가지로 정하고 단락을 구성하고 있습니다. 여기에 서론과 결론이 추가되어 모두 5개의 단락으로 구성된 글입니다. 단락구성이 잘 되어 있음을 알 수 있습니다.

2. 첫 문장 “Autumn makes me spellbound.”는 주제문(topic sentence) 입니다. 가을에 매혹되는 3가지 이유를 말하며 글을 전개하고 있습니다. 결론 “Autumn is "essential" ― to those who have experienced the beauty of it.”도 간결하게 잘 맺고 있습니다. 글에 통일성이 있습니다.

3. 문법과 철자 및 어휘선택이 거의 완벽합니다. 여러 비유적 표현도 잘 구사하고 있습니다. 예를 들면, “like an Opal shining in its unique glory.”와 “If I could dare give a name to this grand event of mother nature, I would ― without a doubt ― call it Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty and love.”가 좋은 예입니다. 어휘 선택도 좋으며 균형 잡힌 문장을 구사하고 있습니다. 계절의 특성을 묘사하는 밑줄 그은 부분의 단어선택을 보면 이 점이 분명하게 드러납니다. “I've been through the anxious start of Spring, and the vigorous heat of Summer. Autumn is a short break for me to  rejoice the maturity of all, before I go to fight the rigid cold of winter.

4. 빠른 속도로 잘 읽히며, 감정이입(empathy)을 사용하고 있는 것도 이 글의 흡인력을 보여줍니다. “Yes, Autumn is indeed an end,”와 “It is indeed a close bosom-friend to the maturity ― anything!”이 그 예입니다.

5. This is an excellent piece of writing. Well-organized, grammatically correct, and original. Plus, well-argued and well-written. Personally I was smitten.

박종성(충남대 영문과 교수)
www.mindup.net
jspark61@cnu.ac.kr

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